April 2024

April 2024

There is a difference in who you are and what your world tells you, you should be

I learned this on my 13th birthday

We were visiting Russia and Ukraine, formerly, The Soviet Union - where my parents grew up 

They brought me back, to show me where they came from, 

Some transitions are planned,  

Some are felt later on, much later 

Before that trip my world revolved around the midwestern suburbs

I wanted to be just like the kids whose lunch bread was spread with peanut butter and jelly  

And who asked me to run around their front yards with the crazy daisy

They were so American! And as first gen kids know,

We are

And we aren’t 

I realized what my parents experienced was unknown to me

It made me sad and it made me grateful and it made me honored  

To be me 

And to come from them 

So, in between the cornfields and the crazy daisy yards, I grew pride, I found beauty in the differences - from the spread on my sandwich, to the cultural characteristics that make me whole

I still remember the feeling of beginning the life long transition of drowning out what your world tells you you should be 

And just being you 

“Unless I am myself, I am nobody” - Virginia Woolf

Love,

Elana